


Stay Close to Me

by macca (NelyafinweFeanorion)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Backstory, Episode 12 Spoilers, Fluff, Grand Prix Final, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, pairs skate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8985688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NelyafinweFeanorion/pseuds/macca
Summary: Yuuri and Viktor prepare for the competitive skating season. Spans from pre-cup of China through pair skate at Grand Prix Final Gala.Behind the scenes on how they got to the pair skate at the Gala





	

They started it as a way to calm Yuuri down during skating practice. Viktor knew Yuuri had the program to “Stay Close to Me” memorized and they both knew he could nail the jumps.

So when Viktor noticed Yuuri getting frustrated, when he would get that look on his face that told Viktor his internal monologue was going downhill, Viktor would put on the music; to get Yuuri back to the place he was when he skated it in the video that Viktor had seen so many months ago.

It worked. Yuuri always calmed down and he thought that was its only purpose but that wasn’t the case; Viktor needed to see that side of Yuuri. He needed to see that performance when the frustrations of coaching overwhelmed him, when his inexperience left him helpless, when Yuuri’s perceived rebuffs of his attempts at closeness cut him too deep. He needed to see what brought him here.

As the weeks went on Viktor found himself stepping onto the ice also when “Stay Close to Me” played. When he had performed it those last few months before coming to Japan it had made him melancholy. He had started to hate it by Worlds. Now it gave him a feeling of comfort, seeing Yuuri perform it.

The first time he had paralleled Yuuri’s steps on the ice Yuuri had faltered and skated to a stop, to watch Viktor.

“Don’t stop,” Viktor said, skating closer to Yuuri. “Skate it with me.” He smiled and touched Yuuri’s shoulder lightly as he skated near him again. “This brought you to me and me to you.”

He slowed to a stop in front of Yuuri, stepping so close his breath stirred Yuuri’s hair. “That makes it ours now, doesn’t it?”

Yuuri looked up at him shyly. “It’s always been yours, Viktor. I just borrowed it to make myself feel better, to fall in love with skating again.”

Viktor’s breath caught but he knew he couldn’t just declare his love for Yuuri at this moment—Yuuri was so skittish with any attempts Viktor made to get closer. He had to take small steps and his patience was slowly being rewarded by Yuuri’s increasing comfort around him.

Letting Viktor lean on him. Accepting Viktor’s arm around him. Falling asleep in front of the television with his head resting on Viktor’s shoulder. Viktor’s light touches on his hands. The gentle tap on the shoulder Viktor would give him for a workout well done. Slowly they were growing closer and Viktor couldn’t risk that fragile trust.

So once again he chose his words very carefully. “I had lost my pleasure with this music, with this program,” Viktor said, looking down into Yuuri’s wide open, brown eyes. “Watching you skate it in that video made me fall in love . . . with it again,” Viktor said, tacking on the ‘with it again’ reluctantly. “I can hear it, watch it, skate it again with a renewed joy.” He moved even closer to Yuuri, his front skate between Yuuri’s two, daring just this once to put his hand up to Yuuri’s face again, as he had so long ago when Yuuri had first tried to skate Eros. “Because of you.”

Yuuri blinked up at Viktor, his cheeks reddening in that way that Viktor loved. “It makes me happy to skate it too,” Yuuri whispered.

Viktor held his breath for a heartbeat, tempted to speak again of his feelings, tempted to lean down and kiss Yuuri’s lips, but he held back, forcing himself to a lighter topic. “You will need a program for the Gala,” he said instead, moving back a few inches.

“The Gala?” Yuuri questioned.

“The Gala after the Grand Prix Final. They always have the skating Gala for the medal winners to perform a program of their choice. For fun.” He smiled down at Yuuri. “You should use this one.”

Yuuri’s mouth fell open. “But Viktor! It’s yours! I only skated it in private. The triplets posted it. I never intended for anyone to see it.”

“But you skate it so beautifully—better than I did, I think. The music moves through you, Yuuri.” Viktor put his hand gently on Yuuri’s shoulder. “I don’t want you to have to learn a new program just for the Gala. I want you to spend your time of “Eros” and “Yuri on Ice.” He squeezed Yuuri’s shoulder. “This is already part of you. I would be honored, as your coach and as your friend, if you skated it at the Gala.”

“If I skate it at the Gala,” Yuuri whispered. “I have to medal for that to happen.”

“You will get a gold at the GPF, Yuuri. Didn’t we already decide that?” Viktor smiled at him. Yuuri smiled up at him and gave a small nod. “Good. Then it’s decided,” Viktor skated further back, tilting his head and looking at Yuuri. “We will need to have a costume made for it.”

“A costume? But Viktor surely I can use an old one or one of yours?” Yuuri said.

“Not for the Gala. Not for your first GPF win. You need something special for that. I’ll take care of it. After all, isn’t that my job, as your coach?” He skated around Yuuri one more time and then moved to rink side, back in coaching mode. “So are you ready to skate that middle sequence of your free skate again?”

_______________________________________________________________________________

The skating costume Viktor had ordered arrived while they were at the Cup of China. Viktor found the box on his bed when they returned. He waited until Yuuri had gone to bed, in his room down the hall, before opening the box. He had gotten Yuuri’s measurements and had ordered a copy of his own attire for “Stay Close to Me” but in blue for Yuuri. It was perfect. He carefully tucked it back in the box and put it deep in the closet in his room. “Don’t tell Yuuri, Makkachin,” he said, curling up on his bed, Makkachin in his arms.

As the Rostelecom Cup approached Yuuri became more easily agitated when he missed a jump or combination. His silver medal at the Cup of China had not settled his nerves. He was worried about the upcoming competition. Viktor found himself playing “Stay Close to Me” more often and took to skating it with Yuuri, paralleling his moves. Yuuri didn’t stop skating now, when Viktor joined him on the ice. He kept on skating along with Viktor, matching him step for step.

One night Viktor stayed up late, editing the composition on his computer. He deleted the section with the lyrics that had always bothered him, the ones that railed at love.

It made the program shorter but for a gala performance that was fine. That’s what he told Yuuri the next time he played it for him. They skated the shorter version, in parallel still, until after Yuuri’s return from the Rostelecom Cup. 

It had been a particularly frustrating practice, two days after Yuuri’s return from Moscow. Yuuri’s quads were giving him problems.

Viktor had noted that Yuuri never fell or popped his quads when he skated “Stay Close to Me.” It was always a clean skate.

He put the music on as Yuuri leaned against the rink wall, a frown on his face. “Viktor, I can’t. Not today.”

Viktor put his hand on Yuuri’s. He’d been able to be far more physically demonstrative since China and since Yuuri’s return from Russia and Yuuri had been receptive, even initiating some contact on his own. “Why not? It always helps you get centered,” Viktor said.

“If I flub the jumps in this today, I don’t know what I’ll do,” Yuuri said, his voice trembling. Viktor knew that tone and that look. He had seen it before Yuuri’s free skate in China. He was panicking. 

A missed jump in his beloved program would devastate him. It was Viktor’s turn to frown. He had to get Yuuri out of this mode. It was too early to call it a day on practice. They had only been at the rink for a short time. The Grand Prix Final was only weeks away—Yuuri needed this time on the ice. But quality time, not time spent missing jumps and berating himself about it.

Fun. He needed something fun, to make the time on the ice pleasurable and relaxing again. 

Decision made, he tapped Yuuri on the shoulder. “Come. We will do it together but no jumps. Let’s try something different.” Viktor pulled Yuuri’s hand off the wall and holding it in his, he skated with him to the center of the ice. 

“Skate your part,” Viktor said. “Then when I come in just take my hand. We’re going to have fun with it today.”

Yuuri looked puzzled but he dropped his head, waiting for the opening notes, as Viktor hit the button on the remote. He glided into the opening moves. As the first jump sequences approached Viktor skated across the ice and took Yuuri’s hands in his, mirroring his positions, skating backward while Yuuri moved forward in the sequence.

Yuuri faltered, his skates almost catching Viktor’s. “Viktor, what are you doing?”

“We’re doing it like a pair skate—no jumps, no lifts, just go with it, Yuuri. It’s for fun,” Viktor encouraged.

They successfully managed another pass across the rink but then they skated too close and went down in a tangle of limbs and skates, Viktor laughing as they both scrambled to stand up.

“I’m so sorry, Viktor,” Yuuri started to say.

Viktor interrupted him. “No, you did nothing wrong—we just aren’t used to that. I have a bit more respect for the pair skaters after that,” Viktor grinned at Yuuri.

After that Viktor would sneak in his “fun” pair skate among Yuuri’s practices and soon Yuuri began to see the fun in it himself.

They grew bolder, incorporating spins, dips and step sequences together, laughing when they stumbled and taking the falls as a moment to hold each other close, Viktor occasionally daring to kiss Yuuri as he lay on the ice, their faces flushed.

“I don’t know how they do all this with jumps and lifts,” Yuuri remarked one day.

“Are you saying they’re more skilled than we are?” Viktor teased.

“Well, no, I guess but it’s definitely a different type of skill—the stamina needed to do that . . .” Yuuri trailed off.

“I’ve never had any reservations about your stamina,” Viktor said. “Let’s try it.”

“Try what?” Yuuri asked, spinning around with Viktor’s hand in his.

“Try a lift,” Viktor answered. “I’m taller so I should do the lift,” he said.

“What? You must be joking, Viktor!” Yuuri said, skating to a complete stop.

“I’m not. It’ll be fun. What? Do you think I’m not strong enough to lift you?” Viktor asked.

Yuuri blushed. “It had crossed my mind. I’m not tiny, like those girls are.”

“You’re a head shorter than me and I outweigh you. I should be able to handle it,” Viktor stated, a little miffed at Yuuri doubting him.

Yuuri’s eyes were shining now and his face was pink. ‘I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself, you know. It’s been awhile since you really exerted yourself on the ice.” Yuuri flushed even more. 

Was Yuuri teasing him? Viktor’s heart raced at the realization of how far they had come in their relationship. He decided to play along. 

He drew himself up tall and widened his eyes at Yuuri. “Are you saying I’m out of shape?”

“Well, you do eat a lot of katsudon,” Yuuri said. “I suppose I should be glad I’m not the one attempting the lift.” Yuuri bit his lip, a small smile on his face as he looked at Viktor.

“Just watch me, you insolent brat. Is that how you show respect to your coach?” Viktor said, laughing as he pulled Yuuri to the center of the ice. He restarted the music. “I’ll just do a simple lift where that jump sequence at the first half starts.”

They skated together, their bodies moving fluidly through this choreography they had created. The lift was harder than Viktor expected. He barely got Yuuri off the ice before he overbalanced and they ended in a heap on the ice, Yuuri laughing, his eyes shining at Viktor, stopping only when Viktor’s lips closed over his own.

So it went over the next few weeks: minutes stolen here and there among their practices, dissolving into laughter as they tried and tried to make it look effortless. More often than not they ended up falling on the ice but Viktor loved those times even more, his arms around Yuuri, their legs tangled together, their faces so very close, and Yuuri blushing but responding to Viktor’s kisses now, his hands finding their way into Viktor’s hair.

Those times on the ice came less frequently as their skills improved and Viktor nailed his lifts each time. He still had Yuuri skate “Stay Close to Me” in its original form, for the Gala, at least once a week, to help keep it fresh in his mind.

________________________________________________________________________________

They were packing for Barcelona when Yuuri turned a panicked face to Viktor. “Viktor! I know I may not end up needing it but I don’t have a skating costume for the Gala!” He gave Viktor a wide-eyed look. “I know you said you would take care of it but you’ve been so busy . . . “

Viktor smiled and gently cupped Yuuri’s face with his hand. “Did you think I forgot? No, I’ve had it here, waiting for today.” He opened his closet door and pulled out the box. “Here, open it.” He pushed the box towards Yuuri.

Yuuri opened the box and the shock was apparent on his face as he pulled the costume out—a perfect match to Viktor’s—in blue.

“Viktor,” he whispered, his eyes welling with unshed tears. “But it’s your program, your costume. I can’t.”

“Didn’t I tell you it was ours?” Viktor said, gently brushing a tear off Yuuri’s cheek. “It’s our program. I can think of no greater honor for me than to have you skate that program, in that outfit, at your GPF Gala—after you win your gold medal.”

“Viktor.” Yuuri dropped the costume back in the box and enveloped Viktor in a tight hug. Viktor leaned into him, dropping his head onto Yuuri’s shoulder, a small sigh escaping him. He had waited so long for Yuuri to reach for him like this, not in need of reassurance, not in need of comforting, but just to share a moment of closeness with him. He could feel his own eyes welling up and he blinked the tears away. He held Yuuri a little tighter and breathed him in.

It had all been worth it, for this.

Later that night, as he double-checked his luggage, Viktor wasn’t sure what prompted him to stow away his own “Stay Close to Me” outfit in his skate bag. He would need his skates for the practices with Yuuri but he didn’t know why he buried the costume at the bottom of his bag. “For luck,” he told himself. “It brought me gold and it brought me to Yuuri,” he thought, zipping the bag shut.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

He should never have agreed to add that jump to Eros, Viktor thought, as Yuuri bent over as he kneeled on the ice. Viktor knew it was not relief that had brought Yuuri to his knees; it was disappointment. He had added it but hadn’t nailed it the way he wanted.

They would skip the public practices tomorrow, Viktor decided. They would only increase Yuuri’s agitation. He would have to use “Stay Close to Me” to calm Yuuri down but Viktor didn’t want to share that with the other skaters, coaches and fans who came to the open practice skates. It was theirs, theirs alone, at least until Yuuri performed it at the Gala after he won his medal.

He could still do it. Fourth was not a disaster. Phichit had climbed from fourth to the top of the podium at the Cup of China. Viktor knew Yuuri could do it. If he skated a clean “Yuri on Ice” program he had a chance at claiming the gold, especially after JJ’s collapse yesterday.

He pulled his critique back, giving Yuuri the support and confidence he needed, not instruction, criticism or advice.

He never expected that the talk Yuuri wanted to have with him tonight would be about ending Yuuri’s skating career and Viktor reclaiming his own. 

He could feel the tears coursing down his face. Could he have been so wrong? About Yuuri? About them?

He left skating because he had lost his inspiration. He had found it again in Yuuri. What was the point of going back to it without Yuuri? He had made a life for himself, a life with Yuuri by his side. He had found love, with Yuuri. He didn’t need skating to fulfill him anymore. Couldn’t Yuuri see that?

Yuuri was at his peak. How could he consider sacrificing that for something Viktor didn’t even want anymore.

They didn’t speak anymore that night, went to bed without holding hands as they usually did. Viktor felt so alone, more alone than he had in months.

He kept Yuuri out of the public practices the next day. They went to the alternate rink, alone. Over and over Yuuri practiced his free skate. It was better than Viktor expected. Obviously Yuuri’s decision wasn’t having the emotional impact on him that it was having on Viktor.

At the end of the practice Viktor put on the music for “Stay Close to Me.”

Yuuri darted a look to him, hesitant, confused.

“You will need to be ready for the Gala,” Viktor said gently. “I will see you on that podium and you need to be ready for this.”

Yuuri nodded and gave Viktor a tentative smile that broke Viktor’s heart. He watched Yuuri skate it, his eyes taking in the beauty of Yuuri’s interpretation. 

Yuuri skated to a stop in front of Viktor. “Can you play it again?” he asked. He reached for Viktor’s hand, the ring on his finger flashing in the afternoon light. He put Viktor's hand to his lips and looked at him. “Will you skate it with me one more time, Viktor?”

Viktor nodded, too overcome for words. He knew this was Yuuri’s way of acknowledging that he had hurt Viktor and he was asking for forgiveness. How could Viktor say no? He couldn’t refuse Yuuri anything.

He pushed the ‘play’ button and watched Yuuri begin the program alone, as he always did. Viktor joined him but this time there were no smiles, no laughs.

Yuuri leaned in to stroke Viktor’s face on one of the passes and Viktor felt his chest get tight. He would miss this so much.

Every lift was effortless and the program flowed, as it never had before. How could their bodies be in such synchronization when their minds and emotions were not, Viktor wondered, as he held Yuuri and the notes faded. He didn’t let go.

“Viktor?” Yuuri whispered.

“I don’t want it to end,” Viktor whispered back, closing his eyes and holding Yuuri tighter.

Somehow doing their skate to “Stay Close to Me” brought them closer. Viktor ended up not feeling as angry and disappointed as he had been earlier. Yuuri looked almost hopeful as he dropped Viktor’s hand.

“You can do this, Yuuri,” Viktor said. “I know you can.”

“Watch me, Viktor. Tonight I skate for you,” Yuuri said.

“I always watch you,” Viktor whispered, close to Yuuri on the ice. “I can’t take my eyes off you.”

“Will you think about what I said?” Yuuri asked, as they unlaced their skates rink-side.

The heaviness came over Viktor again. “I will think about it, Yuuri.” He paused and took Yuuri’s hand. “But I want you to think about it too. You don’t need to stop. You shouldn’t stop.” He softly kissed Yuuri’s hand.

They walked back to the hotel in silence.

_______________________________________________________

It came to Viktor as he watched Yuuri’s Free Skate later that night. It was perfect. Better than any practice. Yuuri had elevated the difficulty, without consulting Viktor. 

It was truly Yuuri’s love—his love of skating, his love of Viktor. As he watched, tears in his eyes, he realized Yuuri truly thought he had to step back so that Viktor could step forward again.

But he didn’t, did he? He shouldn’t. Because how could Yuuri fulfill his dream of skating with Viktor as an equal, as a competitor, if he wasn’t skating? He couldn’t. He couldn’t fulfill it unless both of them continued to skate.

He had gotten a promise from Yuuri, not to decide on retiring until after his skate was over and the scores were announced. Viktor would make his decision then as well. He didn’t want to go back without Yuuri but he also couldn’t let Yuuri just retire.

His heart thumped as he realized Yuuri had beaten his record. He was so proud, so proud of this beautiful boy, who couldn’t see how exquisitely talented he was, who had only found his confidence when he had sacrificed his dream for another.

Viktor made a decision. He would come back. Because perhaps if Viktor was going to skate again and Yuuri had beaten his record, Yuuri wouldn’t be able to keep him on that imaginary pedestal anymore. Maybe Yuuri could fulfill his dream of skating against Viktor as an equal.

If they were equals on the ice perhaps then Yuuri would finally have the confidence that they were equals off the ice as well, that Viktor’s love was not contingent on anything and they could build their relationship as true partners.

___________________________________________________________________________

Yuuri had won the silver. He hadn’t met his goal of winning a gold at the Grand Prix Final. 

He held the medal out to Viktor. “I don’t want to kiss it if it isn’t gold,” Viktor said with a smile. “I am such a poor coach. What are we going to do about that, Yuuri? I need something to excite me. Can you think of anything, Yuuri?” Viktor leaned over Yuuri, the love shining in his eyes. Yuuri closed his eyes and blushed.

Viktor’s heart soared. Yuuri had actually let his mind wander to something that had nothing to do with skating. Viktor knew it. “I’d rather kiss you than any medal,” he whispered to Yuuri. And Viktor suddenly found himself on the floor, Yuuri excitedly straddling his lap and asking him to be his coach for one more year.

He didn’t win the gold but now Viktor could make Yuuri’s other dream come true. He could skate competitively against Viktor, as an equal. And they could chase that gold for Yuuri together.

He hugged Yuuri close. “Yes. I can come back and I can still be your coach.”

“I’ll get the gold, Viktor,” Yuuri said. There was no doubt in Viktor’s mind that he would.

___________________________________________________________________________

Viktor stood with Yuuri as he put on the blue skating outfit that matched the one in Viktor’s bag.

“I told you—you would need a program for the Gala,” Viktor said.

“You were right,” Yuuri smiled, stepping close to Viktor, unexpectedly putting his arms around Viktor’s waist. “I wish we could skate our version again, Viktor,” he breathed in Viktor’s ear. He pulled back and smiled. “With you coming back to skating and me going on for one more year we can stay close to each other.”

Viktor smiled back at him. “I can’t think of anything I would rather do right now,” Viktor said.

“There’s no time before the Gala to go to the practice facility,” Yuuri said.

“Who said anything about the practice facility?” Viktor said, bending down to rummage in his bag. He straightened up, pulling his “Stay Close to Me” costume out.

Yuuri’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know why but for some reason I brought it with me. Perhaps to say goodbye to it, to that life?” Viktor said. “But seeing as you are determined to not let me say goodbye, perhaps you’ll let me share your Gala performance to skate it with me one more time?”

“Oh, Viktor!” Yuuri’s eyes filled with tears and he grabbed the lapels of Viktor’s coat and pulled him forward, bringing his mouth to Viktor’s.

Viktor was breathless by the time Yuuri released him. Yuuri had kissed him. Not in response to Viktor. For the first time he had initiated the contact. 

Viktor looked at him, his own eyes wide now. “Please do that again,” he whispered. 

So Yuuri did.  
____________________________________________________________________________________

The roar of the crowd as Viktor skated towards Yuuri at the Gala performance was deafening. But Viktor didn’t hear it. All he heard were the notes of “Stay Close to Me.”

Yuuri stroked his cheek as they spun and Viktor knew he had never been this happy or this content. He had someone who would stay close to him forever.


End file.
